Saturday, December 5, 2009

I love grannies they are so green

Thank Grannies It Is Saturday

I hope there is nobody out there who does not love their granny or grannies in general. I have selected this group of people as the G word of the week because they have the lowest carbon footprint of any age group. Due to their extremely slow driving they achieve far better gas mileage than teenagers. Also I have not seen a Granny driving a Hummer or an Escalade. Tiger may drive an Escalade, Arnie a Hummer but you won't see a granny in one of either of these pieces of junk. Grannies in Tiburon, California tend to drive a baby Mercedes or a compact Lexus as they are fairly wealthy grannies. Grannies do not accelerate rapidly nor do they brake suddenly close to the traffic light or the stop sign. In fact it almost takes an expert to identify if a granny is accelerating or braking and that is why cars are equipped with brake lights. Some grannies actually use two feet while driving an automatic vehicle. This is why their brake lights are on even when they pull off from a stop or are driving up a grade. These two footed drivers are ruining the average fuel economy for their age group and should be told that braking while accelerating and accelerating while braking is contrary to Newton’s second law of motion but congruent with his third law of equal and opposite actions and reactions.

Midas Brake Repair should offer an early bird special to Grannies who use both feet as they must need brake pads as often as they need an oil change. Enough of my picking on an age group that is not much more than a decade older than me. The news for Chrysler this past June. Fiat bought old Chrysler and is revamping the entire product line. Out with the big and in with the small. I have a suggestion for the Chrysler Fiat combination company that hopefully emerges as a large global auto company, why not target Grannies as your primary market segment? You do not need powerful engines to satisfy grannies. Fiat is famous for underpowered vehicles. Fiat is also well known for their style. Grannies are into style and color and I can only wait for the first purple Fiat 500 to drive down Tiburon Boulevard. Grannies can also loan these underpowered vehicles to their teenage grandchildren without fear that the young and the restless will break the land speed record.

Jokes aside Fiat will provide Chrysler with small car technology that will offer improved fuel efficiency and that is what the Green Machine is all about. Many years ago when I was a child my Dad owned an auto junk yard in Johannesburg and he had a massive watch dog named Chrysler that roamed the yard. Both my Dad and Chrysler must be looking down from heaven in disbelief that future smaller stature guard dogs in junk yards may get to be named Fiat. The last time Fiat tried to gain a market toehold in the USA their cars were not of good quality and the name FIAT stood for Fix It Again Tony. This time I do believe we will see high quality cars from Fiat Chrysler and FIAT could stand for First In Advanced Technology.

6 comments:

  1. Automatic vehicles use more fuel than manual ones right? Why are all American cars automatic? How much fuel would be saved if they switched?

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  2. Mich you are so correct. A maual car on the open hiway will bet about 5 to 8% better gas mileage. In the city though its about the same mileage. The drivers in the USA drive about 3 trillion miles a year half in the city and half in the highway. So if we drive drive 1.5 trillion miles on the hiway and our cars would get 27 mpg instead of 25 mpg, we would use 55.5 billion gallons a year versus 60 billion gallons a year on hiway driving. This is a savings of 4.5 billion gallons a year. This is 107 million barrels a year or about 293,000 barrels a day or about half of all the petroleum consumption of South Africa. Great question

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