Obama Signs Executive Order For $16.987 Billion

Note this is satire not real news

Dateline DC October 13, 2013

President Obama signed executive order Green44 to authorize the spending of as much as $16.987 billion for the Department of Entropy (DOE) to subsidize as many as 424,685 Via plug in trucks.  Standing at Mr. Obama side were Dr. Moniz the Secretary of Entropy and Jared Huffman the freshman congressman from the 2^nd district of California.

The reason for the executive order is to offset 594,558 tons of yearly CO2 emissions the federal government will create when the new NSA data center in Utah begins operation on an around the clock basis to spy on any human activity on the planet.  Mr. Obama explained that the 64 megawatts of Utah power used in the new data center are some of the dirtiest power in the USA (2,121 pounds of CO2 per megawatt hour) and that Via is a Utah company thus the $16.987 billion in DOE giveaways will offset the CO2 pollution the new $2 billion NSA data center will create.  Mr. Obama added that there will be a zero sum game because of the two initiatives his administration is undertaking.

The Christian Science Monitor reporter asked "is 594,558 tons a year of added CO2 not like putting 100,000 more cars on the road?"  Mr. Obama replied "yes it is but the cars are painted British Racing Green."

A Fox news reporter asked: “why not just cancel the $2 billion NSA data center and save both the $2 billion and the $16.987 billion?”  Mr. Obama replied that he knows there will be good paying jobs both in the data center and the Via truck assembly plant and his policy is good for the middle class.  The reporter followed on and asked:  “even with the $40,000 a truck gift from the DOE, the remaining cost of the truck is still $39,000 and the middle class can hardly afford that vehicle?”

Mr. Obama did not answer that question but let Dr. Moniz explain the program further.  Dr. Moniz stated that “the carbon in the carbon dioxide from the data center will have a lower overall molecular weight because there is very little carbon 14 as the data was all freshly minted.”  He went on to explain that “the carbon in fossil fuels has more Carbon 14 due to fossils being very old.”  The reporter from CNN then asked:  why is Mr. Huffman here today.”

Mr. Huffman took his place at the podium and said “because I am the greenest congressman and I am an ardent supporter of the president’s initiative to lower carbon emissions no matter the source.”   Huffman continued “I actually asked the president to only operate the NSA data center during election years so we can halve the emissions.”

The actual reason Mr. Huffman was there was because he was a substitute for Nancy Pelosi who was onsite in Utah making sure the new data center will focus like a laser on the tea party.    After being served green tea and sugar free cookies the guests left the White House.  I inquired why were the sugar free cookies served?  Jay Carney told me that “all the surplus USDA sugar had been given to Pacific Ethanol in their sweetheart deal to make fuel ethanol and the White House baker had some Saccharine that was left over from the Nixon administration thus he baked the cookies during the shutdown with this sugar substitute as all the stores were closed.”

Note this is satire not real news

The California Screwdriver Award

Folks I posted this on my Congressman’s (Huffman Democrat 2^nd District California) Face Book public page.

Mr. Huffman since you admired my last blog here is my next.

Will AT&T be providing the service for the next Telephonic Town Hall?  The last time I tried you guys chose to have a technical glitch and excluded me.  Don't worry I won't be calling in this time I am saving my Sprint minutes for a one on one chat with you. 

As I know you are often in contact with the present and former VPs (not Dick Cheney) you may want to tell them of the havoc hey caused in the First State with their Bloom Coffins

.

The total population of DE is about equal to the population of the 2nd District here in CA.  Bloom (Gore, Doerr and Powell) extorted over $18 million in 2013 from the folks in DE.  You helped Bloom "extract" over a quarter billion dollars here in the once golden state. 

The cost of the California Screwdriver you bought for us is actually infinite and indefinite as the Coffins emit more CO2 per mwh than PG&E by more than a factor of two (2.25 times as much to be exact).  You see Mr. Huffman dividing a quarter of a billion dollars by a negative savings in CO2 emissions yields an indefinite number. 

The screwdriver you bought with our money essentially goes all the way from the Golden Gate to the White House.  Not some stubby little Philips job like the USDA. Not a craftsman like the DOE, you dear gangrene sir got us a bloody screwdriver that is as long as the Lincoln Highway.

I hope your townhall call with the fools who still believe you has a lot of static.  Even Pro Bono does not believe Al anymore, maybe then the folks in West Marin who wash only once a month will also see the light.

The Delaware Screwdriver Award

DELMARVA has now asked the Delaware public service commission for $18, 726,248 for the calendar year 2013 as the subsidy for the Bloom Boxes installed as part of the sweetheart deal Governor Markell gave his old friend Al Gore to rip off the poor and working stiffs in Delaware.  The DELMARVA data show 122,620 megawatt hours of generation from the Bloom Coffins and with a lifetime average of 884 pounds CO2 per mwh versus 1,100 pounds for the Delaware grid the avoided CO2 emissions are 13,243 tons for the whole year.  The carbon tax Gov Markell imposed on his citizens is therefore $1,414 per ton ($18,726,248 divide 13,243 tons).

This places Markell somewhere between Sec Vilsack (USDA) and Sec Moniz (US DOE) as a carbon taxer.  I gave Dr. Moniz the long screwdriver award for his carbon tax on for the Via Trucks and Mr. Vilsack the stubby screwdriver award for his carbon tax for the Pacific Ethanol sugar daddy deal, therefore Gov Markell will get the medium screwdriver award for his Bloom boondoggle in the First State.

The $600 hammer was big news years ago but a $1,414 cost for a medium length screwdriver hardly makes the news today when all the greenness is expected and green is good.  NBC will not cover the $1,414 screwdriver as the screwed up deal in Delaware did wonders in reducing the CO2 emissions compared with grid by 13,243 tons.  So what if more than a million tons could have been reduced if a combined cycle power station that provides affordable energy was built.  Al Gore does not promote combined cycle power, he owns part of Bloom and NBC, ABC and especially CBS love Al and his Bloom Box. 

At least my readers know that Mr. Markell made his citizens pay $18,726,248 to buy 13,243 medium length screwdrivers and Al Gore made some money on the deal.  Big Al as VP of the US gave out his $600 Hammer Award.  Al Gore as a Strategic Adviser to Kleiner Perkins does not give out awards he simply sells tens of thousands of screwdrivers for $1,414 each.  The screwdrivers are made by Mexican Metal Workers who are paid $2.66 an hour in Pesos.  The Mexican (Spanish) word for screwdriver is desarmador.  Al is no toreador his is a desarmador.  He does not killey de bull he just speaks it.  The picture shows the value of Pro Bono Advice.

The $772.30 Stubby Screwdriver

The USDA gave away a sweet 16.2 cents a pound of beet sugar in their recent deal with Pacific Ethanol for the manufacture of bioethanol for blending into gasoline.  The USDA bought the 170 million pounds of crystalline sugar for 20.3 cents a pound and then sold 98.5% of the sugar they bought for 4.1 cents a pound.

I did some heavy duty heat and mass balances of making fuel grade ethanol out of crystalline sugar from beets.  The data on a well to wheels basis show that 7.82 pounds of CO2 emissions will be saved for each gallon equivalent of fossil gasoline not used.  The subsidy at 16.2 cents per pound of sugar equals a subsidy $3.02 per gallon of fossil gasoline equivalent.  Dividing the $3.02 per gallon by the 7.82 pounds of CO2 saved per gallon and multiplying by 2,000 pounds in a short ton we have a cost (carbon tax) to the tax payers of $772.30 per short ton.

This is a massive tax when the true value of CO2 is only $6 per short ton.  Secretary of Agriculture Vilsack gets the Stubby Screwdriver Award for this rip-off.  Dr. Moniz the Secretary of Energy got a long handled screwdriver as his award for his gift to Verizon for the Via truck as that carbon tax on us was $2,857 per ton.  Mr. Vilsack is only 27% as gangrene as Dr. Moniz ($772.30 divided by $2,858).   Their boss is sum of all of his cabinet and these Secretaries are making him look pretty awful with gangrene all over his entire administration. 

The $600 Hammer and the $2,857 Ton of CO2

The $600 hammer was a myth but the $2,857 Ton of CO2 is a reality.  When Al Gore was vice president he instituted the “hammer award” that was given to government waste cutters. 

http://www.govexec.com/federal-news/1998/12/the-myth-of-the-600-hammer/5271/

Wow now Al could get the Screw Driver award for hoodwinking the government with his Bloom Box and Fisker Car.  But alas I will not give Al Jazeera Gore this award.  The first recipient of this award goes to Dr. Moniz, the secretary of energy who looks like the hippie version of what me worry. 

Moniz gets the award for paying $2,857 for a short ton of avoided CO2 when the true value is only around $6 bucks.   I was just in an Ace Hardware store to buy a small and inexpensive hammer and I paid $5.99.  There is no way I would pay $2,857 for the hammer but that is what we paid Via Motors to avoid a ton of CO2 emissions.  Yeah Dr. Moniz you get the screwdriver award for screwing us.  Note the red white and blue screwdriver.

After last week’s blog about Bob Lutz and Via Motors I created a spread sheet to calculate the actual amount of CO2 avoided by Via converting a truck to a Volt type vehicle.  In the spreadsheet calculation I used the assumption that the vehicle would travel 15,000 miles each year for ten years and 70% of those miles will be powered by electricity from the 24.4 kwh battery pack.  I calculated the primary energy to fabricate the battery pack as well as the charging energy and I compared the US grid average emissions to the emissions from a straight up otherwise identical gasoline only truck.  The CO2 avoided over the life of the vehicle is a paltry 14 tons. 

Moniz and his DOE will give Via customers like Verizon a $40,000 gift to buy the $80,000 Via vehicle.  Dividing the 14 tons of avoided CO2 into $40,000 implies a carbon tax to all of us who made the gift from the working stiffs to the gangrene Verizon of $2,857 per ton of CO2.  Note I have not allocated any overhead or time value of money.  I simply divided the $40,000 gift by the amount of avoided CO2.  The $600 hammer story had a bunch of allocated overhead and that is why it was deemed to be a myth.  The screw driver story is no myth!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen the $2,857 ton of CO2 is no myth it is 100% real.  It is a sign of the times that government is totally corrupted by the complex.  Forget hammers it is all about greenhouse gasses and how to screw the poor rather than hammer a nail.  In 1963 Trini Lopez popularized the song “if I had a hammer”.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AvULw1mfJA

50 years later we need a pop artist to release a song “if I had a screwdriver”.  One of the lines of the song will be “it’s the screw of injustice”.    Truthfully this crap science by crooked politicians is so pervasive that very few except the Green Machine and his readers actually know the story of the $2,857 ton of CO2.  But hold on this is not about only one $2,857 screwdriver.  The DOE will spend $20 million to “buy” 7,000 $2,857 screwdrivers.  Al Jazeera Gore gave a few prizes for the one mythological hammer, I should give prizes every minute for the 7,000 real screwdrivers. In honor of Al some of those drivers may well be lithium ion battery powered.  

I did post the following on Dr. Moniz’s public Facebook page

“Dr. Moniz and the DOE are wasting your money on Via Vans. The DOE will pay half of the $80,000 cost of a Via Electrified GM panel van. Verizon is getting a fleet of these government gifted vans. I have a spreadsheet I made that shows that the Via Van will save 14 tons of CO2 in total over a 10 year lifetime (15,000 miles a year). Divide the $40,000 gift from Dr. Moniz to Verizon by 14 tons we have a carbon tax to the working stiffs of $2,857 per short ton of CO2. Dr. Moniz could have bought a carbon credit in Europe for $6 per short ton and only given $84 of your money to Verizon for the Via E Van. The USDA pays 20.3 cents per pound for sugar and sells it for 4.1 cents a pound. The DOE pays $2,857 for a ton of CO2. How long can this corruption continue??????”